It’s my birthday, and I am alone. When I get up, I am going to buy a piece of chocolate cake that I have noticed for weeks in a bakery window. Self-denial has no place on birthdays.
My next door neighbor is leaving in the morning for a month in Switzerland. I will miss her. We look out for each other. I hear her up now. She was afraid of oversleeping…she’s peeing. Life in such a small stuffed stifled building has no privacy.
My breathing has become tight and small. To think I am taking up so little space! Breaking through. Breaking through the webs and walls and family stories–rewriting… recreating…renewing…retraining. Breathing bigger and bigger until I take back the space that soulless mortals tricked, robbed, and forced from me. Breathing larger. Expanding out. If the universe is a mirror of me–to own the universe. To be fearless in planting and harvesting…to push at the sides until the sides fall away, and forever is staring back at me in the startled awareness of everything new and fresh and green. The dreamer…not the dream. Important, loved…unwilling to be dust. Stretching upward and outward. Taking up more and more space. Claiming it as mine. Let the ugliness dissolve and disappear. Open wide like birth a welcomed day. Untouched. Alive. Breathing all of the corners and edges of a brand new me.
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My partner and I stumbled over here by a different web address and thought I might as well check things out. Lissie Claire Damalis